Epiphany

I've been taking a lot of classes at the gym.  I like classes, they make me feel social and they let me be more creative than if I was just plowing ahead on my own on the elliptical.

Don't get me wrong, I still love the solitude of running, but I feel like I've struck a balance.

One of the things that kept me out of classes for a long time was how self conscious I am.  What if I do it wrong?  What if I can't get the steps right?  What if I'm the fattest one in the class?

But I'm trying to teach that voice to SHUT UP.

I did my first zumba class a couple weeks ago, and stayed for my first hour-long yoga class two Saturdays ago.  I didn't get all the moves right, but I still managed to burn A TON of calories, pump my system full of endorphins  and feel all around fan-freaking-tastic.

And I had an epiphany.  I was so wrapped up in myself, I wasn't really paying attention to the other people in the class.  And I realized they were so wrapped up in themselves, they weren't really paying attention to me.  We were all there for the same reason - because Zumba is fun! Yoga is relaxing! TRX training is hard!  I'm not there there to judge other people, why do I assume they're there to judge me?  

So what if I'm the biggest person in the class, or the clumsiest?  So what if I have to modify 50% of the yoga poses?  NO ONE ELSE CARES! (Unless I trip over them, then they care.  But I don't trip over other people, usually just over one of me two left feet).  And the only way I'm going to get smaller, or more graceful, or more flexible, or stronger, is to keep trying.  To not be intimidated.  Because at this point, the only person I have to be afraid of is myself, and I can just tell myself to shut up and listen to the music.